Ironically, the first step in a successful plight to get her back is to lay low in the weeks after the breakup. Learn the proper steps to take here so you don’t make the mistake most guys make when trying to repair their relationship.
Patience is Key to Winning Her Back
The situation seems impossible when you’re on the receiving end of a breakup that you did not expect or want. Wishing for her to see the error of her ways is not enough. Steps to get her back must be taken right away to better the chances she will have a change of heart.
Ironically, the first step in a successful attempt to repair things is to lay low in the weeks after the breakup. Contact within a short span of time after the break up insinuates desperation. Desperation is a turn-off and if you appear at all desperate with phone calls, texts or showing up at her door, you will come off as too available and that does not set the wheels in motion for reconciliation. A woman wants most what she can’t have and being too available right after she put the brakes on your romance is going to do nothing but make her feel more distant and uninterested. She won’t miss you if she knows you will be at her door with take-out and a bottle of wine at a moment’s notice.
The first time contact is made within a reasonable amount of time, it is important to not seem too eager. While treating her with the utmost respect she deserves, keep a cool, arms-length approach to interacting with her. Again, her interest will be piqued only if you do not approach her with a needy, passive demeanor.
A properly prepared man will have something new to report when the first contact takes place. Trying something exciting such as surfing lessons, salsa dance lessons or trying a new gym is going to tell her that you are still getting out there and living. She is going to do the most second guessing about the break when she learns you are not sitting around pining, being pathetic and needy. She may hear through the grapevine about your newest hobby or endeavor and that will leave her wanting to know more.
Her friends and family are best avoided. Should you run into her mom, aunt or best friend, avoid quizzing them about your ex. They will give you nothing but a brief report and give her a play-by-play of your actions, making the most innocent question by you sound like an ambush. Her disinterest will grow if she thinks you are not above attempting to find out if she has fully moved on by bombarding Aunt Rita at a fast food joint.
Self-confident people get their exes back. The problem is, a devastating break up leaves a normally confident guy felling a bit low if you are having issues with this part of the process. A good way to combat those feelings is to try something new with your look. Update your haircut and wardrobe. If you have a few pounds to lose, hit the gym. Looking good is feeling good. Feeling good makes you confident and self-assured.
After having time to miss you, curiosity about how you got along so brilliantly without her and an interest to rekindle the flame will lead her to contact you. Once you have done such a stellar job at playing it cool, don’t lose that cool when she calls. Keep the conversation brief and light and don’t be too available for plans. When a plan is set, keep it platonic and brief with coffee or a workday lunch date. Do not let her know how happy you are she called and that getting to see her is like Christmas morning and your birthday wrapped up in one. Let her know you do have a certain level of interest but have no intention of letting her hurt you again.
A few dates later, with you appearing semi-interested and guarded, she will be the one scrambling to do the legwork of repairing the broken pieces of the relationship. Once things are back on track, give yourself a pat on the back for practicing such patience and taking all the right steps to get your lady back. Then reassess what went wrong in the first place to better ensure you and she keep it together.