Breaking up is indeed hard for both sides of a relationship, as many couples learn each year. Couples break up for a variety of reasons, from cheating, lying, different lifestyles, and differences in religion. Many of these individuals are able to move on to new partners. However, just as many people find themselves wanting their former partner back in their lives. This return to the old relationship cannot happen in most cases if people cling to the same behaviors that broke them up in the first place. Rather than adhere to the same patterns, people should consider changing their behaviors if they want to lure someone back into their lives. Even at that, abandoning beliefs that are truly important to an individual in favor of the viewpoints of the other partner could lead to a new break up in the future. Remember, no matter how proud you are, it has proven very effective for millions of couples to seek professional couples counseling to help them figure out how to rewind their love.
If abuse lead to the first break up, both parties need to realize that abuse has no place in a healthy relationship. All types of abuse, whether it be physical, verbal, emotional, or sexual, are bids to control the other person. The abuser has tremendous insecurities and reflects his or her frustration with life by abusing the significant other.
In turn, the abused person suffer a loss of self esteem and anxiety, at the very least. Some even suffer broken bones, bruises, cuts, burns, and other physical harm. If the abuser is not willing to change this behavior and undergo serious counseling to alter his or her outlook on life, there is arguably no hope that the two could ever reconcile, at least while this same behavior exists.
This can also be said for people who cheat in a relationship. Some people get bored easily with monogamy. Rather than put someone else through the torture and embarrassment of being cheated on, the cheater should end the relationship. However, if a cheater wants his or her partner back, that individual should consider what leads him or her to cheat. Is it boredom or is the thrill of being sneaky and having illicit sex out of the bounds of a committed relationship? To get the ex-partner back, the cheater should vow to not repeat the same pattern of infidelity. He or she, like the abuser, should undergo serious counseling to find out how to remain faithful to their loved one.
Sometimes relationships end because of financial troubles. Indeed, statistics show that a large portion of marriages end because the couples experience financial difficulties. If a husband or wife wants their ex-spouse back, they may need to reevaluate their spending and earning habits. If the couple earns the same amount of money and yet has the same amount of expenses, they should consider whether or not they can tackle these concerns with a new strategy. Perhaps they can reevaluate what their necessities are versus their luxuries, and cut back on expenses in that way.
Perhaps as well they can undergo financial counseling with a professional budgeting expert and learn how to save and to spend money wisely. Rather than repeat the same behaviors, they can take the steps to learn new habits. If they really want to give marriage to each other another try, they should take the necessary steps through counseling and reevaluating their lifestyles before they make another commitment to each other. In this way, they may be able to avoid another divorce.
Finances are not the only factors that end marriages and relationships. Nosy family members who put their input into another person’s relationship also breaks up pairs. This behavior has been noted among mothers-in-law, especially mothers of only children. They have difficulty relinquishing that control over their only offspring. However, their constant interference eventually drives a wedge between the offspring and his or her partner. Some sons and daughters have difficulty choosing between their mothers and their partners. The end result is that the couple breaks up because of the mother’s interference.
If a person wants an ex back, he or she may need to stand up to the mother. The mother needs to understand her boundaries and let go of her control over that person. If she exhibits the same behavior, the couple may need to put distance between them all.
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